You're So Vein

Here it is April 25th and the ice is falling from the sky with 16" of snow right behind it. It couldn't get any worse ... could it? My cell phone alarm went off and it was time to take our two dogs Sadie and Lloyd and our cat Luffa to the vet. Since Lloyd is such a puss, I thought I'd bring him in first. He was really excited to be going somewhere different. He stuck his chest out and strut his way directly through the front door of the vet's office. Did you know Basset Hounds have the second best smelling nose of any dog second only to the Blood Hound? Well you should have seen it at work when he walked through that door. He immediately knew he'd made a mistake and started to shake Don Knotts in that funny western movie. What made things even worse was the fact that he had to wait a good 15-minutes before he got the call. Once inside he tipped the scales at 75-pounds. The Vet Assistant gave Lloyd the once-over and checked his temperature by sticking something up his butt. Once in there, she determined he had the runs based on his temperature and the heavy buildup of poop residue caked on his ass. "Well give you something for that," said the Vet Assistant. She then called for the Doc as they needed to draw blood to see if he had any viruses or other health concerns. She also informed me that Basset Hounds are terrible for finding a good vein for blood because of their short, stocky legs and the Doc would do abetter job than her. After many attempts at finding a vein in the front leg they went for the back and finally struck gold ... or should I say red. The blood was rushed off for testing, Lloyd took three shots in the back of the neck and he was off to the Camry and very excited to do so. Next was Sadie. She's a 14-year-old Blue healer who has bad back hips, poor eyesight and is losing her hearing. What she does have is spirit and the will to live. Sadie has spent her whole life on the horse trail and very prod of that. Sadie was a gem in the Doc's office. They drew her blood, gave her two shots and it was off to join Lloyd in the back seat after dodging a extremely hyper German Sheppard and a 97-pound golden lab in the lobby. Up next ... Luffa the cat. Luffa came was taken from the car in a cat kennel and was a little nervous. They wieghed her (12.55 pounds) and checked her out everywhere imaginable. She received two shots and was on her way. After returning from the car I was told that Sadie had a tic-bearing disease and needed special medication. "We'll give you something for that." They also gave us Frontline and some chewy chunks that help them with something but I'm not really sure what. When the receptionist in the black and white animal smock told me the total for this 30-minute visit ... I almost shit my pants. Thank God I didn't because they would have probably shoved that thermometer up my ass and charged me for it. Oh .. did I forget to tell you how much the bill was? $481.76.