Did you know there was a new rule at parades that states you must hand candy out to children , rather than throwing it to them? In all honesty, I'm a pretty mellow guy but this one has really pissed me off! Do you remember when you were very young and your parents told you not to throw pencils, rocks, nails, bottle caps, etc, because they might poke someones eye out? Did you ever witness this phenomena? My Dad lost his eye because someone shot it out with a BB Gun. Now I can understand some saying "Don't shoot that BB Gun at someones eyes," that makes total sense. But "Don't throw that Jolly Rancher, Tootsie Roll, Gum Ball, Laughy Taffy ... makes absolutely no sense what-so-ever! Who makes up these rules? Is it the PTA? I'm well aware of the fact that someone, somewhere, was on the receiving end of a damaging blow from a Milk Dud but give me a break! You have a better chance of getting struck by lightning than you do getting maimed by a Sweet Tart thrown from a politician, fireman, police officer, or beauty queen. What's next ... egg tosses can only take place if children wear protective head gear? Let the damn kids have fun and dive for those shabbily thrown decorative chunks of bubble gum. If another kid gets in their way, knock his frickin' head off! When it comes time to get your first job are they just going to give it to you or are you going to have to earn it. What about this child obesity thing taking over the world? Not that kids aren't eating enough candy these days, now we have to walk up and hand it to them. Did you know that diving for a Zot burns more calories than standing there and opening up your hand and having the police chief hand you one? The number one problem with youth sports these days is parents. Everything is structured. There is no freedom to free-wheel! Parent have to be in control of everything. How in the hell are you supposed to learn creativity when everything is structured. Next thing you know they will have a special rule that tells kids exactly how to take a dump! Call your state senators and congressman .. tell them to throw the "no throw parade candy" bill in the dumpster.
